Friday, September 12, 2008

Divorce Court, Anyone?

Yesterday, the Matron's husband made this inquiry of her --without irony or humor.

John: "If I can figure out how to get the lessons free, would you take driver's training again?"

!!

She will leave her response (although there was more than one expletive involved) to the imagination. But she now is in need of retribution, rebuttal, revenge! Ideas?

Or a good divorce attorney. . . .

22 comments:

allmycke said...

Would that be at the same time you take courses in cooking/child rearing/ domestic sciences?

Or, if you want the heavy artillery:

How long did you say you wanted to remain celibate?
Oh, was that your n*ts I just happened to crush!
No, Satan's Familiar is now sleeping on that side of the bed. You can sleep in the laundry room.

Hit'em where it hurts!

smalltownmom said...

Ouch!

And will he be sleeping in the car afterwards?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Now wait a sec - something must have precipitated that question, some incident - are you holding out on us?

thefirecat said...

Sure, but if I flunk, you'll have to drive Scarlett to all those rehearsals.

Mrs. G. said...

I would hand him the keys and tell him "the kids will be happy to spend more time with you-you'll be popular in the carpool." And then get a bus pass and enjoy the extra reading time.

SUEB0B said...

Um, maybe...is there a possibility...you may be a terrible driver?

Jason said...

Oh, wow. Is your driving really that bad?

Or he your husband just oblivious to the certain retribution that awaits him?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

You know that I used to be a family-law attorney, didn't you? I really did. In Beverly Hills. Really. I'm not making this up. Just tell John how much I love you.

And? Remember that third full-time job you mentioned in a recent post? The one that involves much driving of a certain actress around town? That sounds like the perfect job for John since it sounds like he thinks he could do it so much better.

Becky said...

Don't take the bait! Just say, "Why no, dear. But thank you so much for thinking of me."

Make him call you a bad driver, and then just give him the echo treatment, e.g., "So, you're saying that I roll through stop signs. That must be alarming for you!" And just keep it up until he feels like a doofus. :)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Was there a particular incident that precipitated this comment?

Irene said...

There must have been some reason why he said that, Matron. That remark didn't come out of the blue, did it?

Anonymous said...

On the topic of Palin, the following post is an excellent piece about why she is NOT ready to be VP.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathleen-reardon/is-it-sexist-to-want-the_b_126021.html

laurie said...

depends... would you have to watch those gory movies again? that'd be a deal-breaker for me.

standing still said...

I second Mrs. G's advice, however, I know that the metro transit in our fair city is less than exemplary. You could simply hire a buff driver and go all Miss Daisy on his ass.

Ree said...

Um, I'm speechless.

Anonymous said...

Thought this blog would resonate with your readers:

http://womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com/

distracted by shiny objects said...

"Only if you teach it, Lovah."
Bottle of Boone's Farm in a brown paper bag optional.
Oh, like you all didn't learn that way the first time???:>)

Magpie said...

Let the air out of his tires?

Daisy said...

Hmmm...I recommend you make him chief chauffeur, since he is not enamored of your driving prowess. He'll relent soon enough.

Minnesota Matron said...

Thanks for the political blog links! Off to check them right now. And the Matron might in fact be a bit wobbly behind the wheel sometimes. . . sssshh. Don't tell her husband!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I suppose running him over would be the ultimate irony.

Tricia said...

Didn't you recently report you'd been spending an obnoxious amount of time chauffeuring children?

Explain that your driving ability is a hopeless cause and since you know how much he worries for the children's safety, you're turning over the third job to him ... someone obviously more qualified.