While the Matron was busy battling nature in Itasca State Park, the legendary Grandma Mary took on the family dogs: fifteen year old, blind and deaf Jekyll and the fiesty Familiar, sent by Satan.
This would be Jekyll, struggling to understand where he is and what's in front of him.
One day into their trip, the Matron called her mother to inquire after Jekyll's well-being. He was fine! Lots of barking at air, but that's the thrill of doggie dementia!
She forced herself to ask. The other one?
Grandma Mary: "Well, Scruffy is attached to me. I'm going to train him not to poop in the house. He's sleeping in a kennel and when he's not there, he's attached to me with his leash."
Matron: "You're wearing the dog?"
Grandma Mary: "It's just four days."
Oh, now it all makes sense.
Fast forward to Wednesday morning, when the Matron retrieved the boys. Grandma Mary reported that:
- Satan's Familiar slept in a crate.
- Satan's Familiar did not poop or pee in the house, once.
- Satan's Familiar spent every single waking moment attached to Grandma Mary unless he was doing his duty, out doors.
- Satan's Familiar is 100% retrained to A) use the great outdoors as his toilet and B) forget the beauty of beds and adore the crate.
- Satan's Familiar has actually not forgotten how much he enjoys combed cotton and high-quality mattress and he will cast Evil Glance in direction of anyone considering shoving him off said comforts.
- Satan's Familiar celebrated his return home with instant indoor defecation! Twice.
- Within one hour of being home, Satan's Familiar broke open the front door and raced across the street, down the block, over the hills and vanished - poof -- for one frantic (Scarlett: HE'S DYING! FIND HIM!!) hour. He returned home with someone else's poop all over him.
- Satan's Familiar has a new trick! When his blind brother is eating anything - a treat, or say, his DINNER -- that wily Devil's Henchman swoops in and steals whatever food is sitting in front of Jekyll. Then, Jekyll spends the next few minutes sniffing around for his booty, while S.F. munches on it, one foot away.
For the new readers who missed it, there has been much of this lately, too. The new mailman actually rang the doorbell to ask about whose teeth are touching his fingertips.
Satan's Familiar is currently sound asleep on the bed, with two peanut butter sandwiches, half a cupcake and a quarter pound of turkey in his belly. Yes! He can also find his way on top of a kitchen table!
Anybody need a puppy?