Friday, July 18, 2008


Tonight, the Matron flew the coop for dinner with friends.

Before she left, she walked John through the two hours she spent in the kitchen.

Matron: "So I made edible dishes out of all that raw veggie material, waiting to rot. You'll find a carrot and beet blue cheese salad, another dish with green beans, onions and pecans, and a big tossed salad. Enjoy!"

When she came home, she opened the fridge (because that's kind of what she does, walk in and open the fridge for all the latest information), and saw all that food, untouched. Knowing just how much garlic was in the beet and carrot concoction, she pulled that out and nibbled.

Enter, John: "What's that?"

Matron: "The beet and carrot thing I told you about."

John: "What! I looked for that! And the bean thing."

Matron: "What do you mean, 'I looked for that?' This was on the top shelf, right in front. Sort of singing and dancing when the door opens."

John: "But it's a Whole Foods container. Did that come from Whole Foods? Did you make it?"

Matron: "Remember our earlier exchange about the beet and carrot salad? How I made it and all and you should eat?"

John: "But the Whole Foods container? That totally threw me. I mean, I didn't know if that was yours and I shouldn't eat it. And who knew what it was!"

Matron pauses to consider the year-old container that has no label, is worn with wear and yesterday held strawberries (that he ate). She ponders the distinctive beet therein. Not your ordinary vegetable.

Matron: "You couldn't find the food in the refrigerator, could you?"

John: "Did you have wine? Let's get you another."


The First Recipe!!! Fanfare and Firework!

Four or five beet peeled raw beets

Four or five carrots

1/4 cup olive oil

Blue cheese to taste, about 1/4 cup

3-4 cloves garlic

Grate the beets and carrots. Crush that garlic. Mix garlic, oil and blue cheese. Dump over beets and carrots. Real food. Real good.


Anonymous said...

Well I'd be all for trying it, but does it have to be served in a year old Whole Foods container? And if so, would I be able to find it in the fridge? I'm so confused!

Anonymous said...

That salad could have reached out and goosed my husband and he still wouldn't have noticed it.

Memarie Lane said...

No kidding! I hate my husband's days off because he just whines about there being no food. I go down and check, and there's sandwich fixings, tubs of leftovers from the night before, frozen pizzas, etc. I have since figured out that he knows exactly where all the food is, he just forgets how to use the microwave or how to put things on a plate if there's a woman around to do it. And he used to be a cook!

Lisa Milton said...

It's hard, this being a man and foraging for one's self. Reusable containers are baffling.

(I had to laugh because although my husband can cook - very well - he can be still quite clueless when it comes to finding stuff. Then again, he would never eat a beet salad no matter how many times I make it so there you go. I will...yum.)

Angie said...

Next time, put a picture of your boobs on top of it - it works every time!

We just have to speak their language;)

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Angie took my line!

There's only one man living in my house (so far), but left to his own devices he would neither eat a piece of fresh fruit or veggie nor would he be able to locate one despite that the fruit bowl and veggies are on the CENTER ISLAND in the kitchen. He walks past them as he locates the one beer that I didn't even know was in the back of the fridge. (And by "so far" I don't mean to infer the potential of another child, I'm inferring the potential of adding another husband, preferably a gay one so I'll have someone to chat, cook and go with to the theater.)

smalltownmom said...

The salad sounds? looks? smells? delicious though.

Mrs. G. said...

Don't tell me they ordered pizza.

Heather said...

The sad thing is that this affliction is hereditary. My son can't find things in front of his face either.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That's why I just let them figure it out for themselves when I go out for dinner!

Ree said...

Well, you could have put it in my refrigerator and 24 would have eaten all of it.

Wait, that's wrong. He'd have eaten all but a half tablespoon full.

Louise said...

The Matron is much nicer than I would be. When I leave, it's SOOO not my responsibility to make sure anyone gets fed. Apparently it's not The Matron's, either!

MamaBird said...

OK that is called Male Refrigerator Blindness and I bet Melanie at BeanPaste could write it up for ya, cause something tells me that Crouton Lung and it go hand in hand. Yummy sounding salad!