Stereotypically, Matron

The Matron has, upon occasion, been accused of falling into certain Liberal Stereotypes -- you know, the bleeding heart with big biases and assumptions to which she is blind?

Just to keep those folks happy (she's so generous that way!), she occasionally admits to behavior and belief that fall--with staggering perfection --into said Blind Liberal Stereotype category.

So.

The Matron has long harbored a not-so-secret hope that one of her sons is gay!

She imagines all the lunching, shopping and gossiping she could do with an adult gay son, modeled after her very fine experiences with current adult friends, men she can consult on hair, wardrobe and celebrity footwear. A gay adult son would bring his boyfriend over for Sunday dinners and they would take the Matron to the theater, regularly!

She can just see those late night phone conversations and general dishing!

Now, when Stryker was three, he went through a brief dress and tight phase which the Matron heartily encouraged. She made sure there were bright cotton Hanna Anderson leg and dress wear in plentiful supply.

Imagine her disappointment when that phase not only ended, but was remembered with revulsion by her eldest - who gives not the tiniest teeniest indication that he swings toward the non-hetero.

Hope for Merrick was kindled by exactly one of these adult gay male friends! She and this friend, who has a strong psychic flair, went out for Thai food one night when the Matron was newly pregnant with Merrick -- so newly that she hadn't yet taken a test.

(see how much fun the Matron is having with an adult gay man? they are eating Pad Thai and gooey egg rolls, while having heartfelt conversation - about the Matron and her life, feelings and needs!)

The friend said: "Did you know you're pregnant? And it's a boy! Oh, and he's SO gay!"

The Matron felt like someone had just handed her that winning lottery ticket!!! And when Merrick turned out to be a boy, just as predicted, the Matron believed Fate sealed that deal.

Until she started to get to know Merrick.

The baseball playing, knee-scraping, clothes-ruining Merrick has given the Matron not a single indication that he might be gay. She had assumptions (okay, stereotypes) regarding this. For example, she initially anticipated that Merrick would play house and have tea parties. She imagines her future gay adult son would be reading books and painting. Perhaps taking a nature walk?

Instead, he is in a tree. High. And after that? He will be breaking windows or throwing a ball. Merrick wants to know if he can use power tools and ride a Harley.

Then, yesterday, the Matron was pulled aside by one of Merrick's teachers.

Teacher: "I hate to even say anything, because it's so cute. . . but, there have been rumors about Merrick kissing and today, I saw it. It's adorable, but: no kissing in school."

Now, the Matron's older children would never EVER kiss a school friend (would rather be stuffed in body bags, come to think of it) someone so this issue is new to her.

So she had this exchange with Merrick:

Matron: "Merrick, it's great that you love your friends, but you can't kiss them --especially at school."

Merrick: "I know, I know."

Matron: "Who did you kiss?"

Merrick: "Henry."

!

Matron: "Henry? Oh. Anybody else?"

Merrick: "Teddy."

Matron (detecting a pattern): "Hmmm. . . and?"

Merrick: "Gabe."

Hope! Rekindled.