Tuesday, February 12, 2008

200th Post

I had lunch with a friend yesterday.

As in a member of the Top Five Friends, the first you call on the days corporeal punishment sounds, well, reasonable or when you buy that $188 purse at ValuThrift for $7.49.

Me: "Tomorrow will be my 200th post."

Friend: "What?"

Me: "Blog post. I started with four weenie ones in September and I'm up to 200."

Friend: "I always forget about that blog."

Me (!): "You're kidding. I thought you read every day."

Friend: "Actually, I talk to you every day. Why would I read the blog?"

Me: "Because I'm writing it? It's good?"

Friend: "Actually, I like you better in real life."

Me (umbrage, taken!): "How could you! No you don't."

Friend: "Yes, I really do."

Me: "You can't possibly."

Friend: "You're wrong. I like you better, here."

Me: "But I'm funny on the blog."

Friend: "You're funny in real life, too."

Me: "I am not!."

Friend (sigh): "Yes, you are."

Me: "But I'm funny in a more thoughtful, well-done way on the blog."

Friend: "Actually, you're quick as a whip in real life. "

Me: "Now you're hurting my feelings."

Friend: "Sorry, but I prefer the real deal to the blog."

Me: "But I offer interesting political commentary on the blog. Gender stuff, too."

Friend: "Mary, you are Commentary, incarnate. In real life. You're just like that."

Me: "Oh my God. I can't believe you're saying this about my blog."

Friend: "I'm saying this about you."

Me: "But my blog is climbing in numbers! In just four months of steady postings I have hundreds of readers!

Friend: "Do they pay you?"

Me: "Of course not!"

Friend: "Are these relationships? If their kids showed up at your doorstep, do you know what to feed them? Tampax or Kotex? Which bathroom in their house is for public use and which strictly off limits?"

Me: "I know them through comments. There are kids' names involved, like Nature Girl and Boy G. Mr. T and Mr. G. Wild Child. See?"

Friend: "Hmmmm."

Me: "They put my name on their blogrolls: Minnesota Matron."

Friend: "That's not your name."

Me: "Yes, it is. And it looks good sitting up there for everyone to see, all shiny and taut: Minnesota Matron."

Friend: "You like being the center of attention."

Me: "I do not!"

Friend: "Who are we talking about?"

Me: "But I wish you preferred the blog."

Friend: "Center. Of. Attention."

Me: "Oh my God. I'm so sorry! Let's talk about you."

Friend: "Sweetie, you're always the center of attention. That's okay."

Me: "Thank God. I was getting worried, you hating my blog and all."

Friend: "Mary, the internet was created specifically for your blog. Online creativity can now take a rest. Can we order now?"

Me: "You like the blog--better? Prefer it to me in real life?"

Friend: "At this moment, yes. Very much so."

Me: "Thank you. Lemon grass soup?"

40 comments:

Melissa said...

That's too funny! I enjoyed "eavesdropping" on your discussion. And here I feel redundant when I talk to friends and they say, "I know--I read it on your blog." I shrug and think, oh, well, then I'll have to let you do all the talking since you're catching up with me daily...

standing still said...

This is the same discussion I have with MechanicalMan. He sleeps with me and I would prefer he learned more some days from reading me.

Kimberly said...

That is too funny! I have some friends who read mine and others who do not. My own mother does not read it. I think she's a bit afraid of what she might see up there!

I do not know you in person, but your blog is quite cool. :-)

Beth said...

So now we know that the "blog" you is the "real" you!
Congratulations on your 200th post - quite a feat. And keep it up - it's a pleasure to read!

hippyhappyhay said...

Oh, that was too funny. You're even better in person?!?!?!

Happy 200th!
My kids names are Madison, Kyla, Denver and Sienna.
And we only have one bathroom, so that solves that one ;)

K. said...

That rocks. You'll be happy to know that I'm just sure I'd like your blog better, if given the choice. :P (But then, with the Tampax/Kotex question floating in the air unanswered between us, I'm not sure we know each other well enough for me to be play-insulting... your friend might have a point.)

Amy the Mom said...

Count me among those who have shared this same conversation. On more than one occasion when I've told friends about the blog, they've asked "Is it a porn site?" No, that would be amythemilf.com, and what exactly about me would ever give you the idea that I'd be promoting THAT?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Lucky you - my friends actually prefer the blog.

another mary said...

Mary, I love everything you write!! - but I like you better in person too.
xo

Heather said...

I suspect most of my friends and family prefer my blog. I actually talk more on there than in person.

Congrats on 200! How did you get all those readers? I'm coming up on two years and still struggling to get readers.

Slow Panic said...

really, what's up with the real life people not getting the blogging thing? i'm obviously so much better in blog life than in real life....

Mrs. G. said...

200 posts? Congratulations! That is pretty amazing, MM.

bipolarlawyercook said...

Congratulations! As scintillatingly funny and brilliant as you are online, I would have to bring sunglasses and a truss (lest I bust a gut, y'know) to shield me from the Full-On Matron.

Sandy Feet said...

Happy 200! I have awarded you an "E"for your excellent blog. Come on by and get your "E" from my sidebar if you like. Such timing.

Nora Bee said...

I love this! I have heard of this reaction, and it gives me strength as I consider going "public" with my blog. It really is about being the center of attention, sorta...

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I'm a Playtex gal myself!

Laura said...

Hey MM -- I think you may be The One to write the essay, "Why I Blog". I was rereading "Why I Write" -- both George Orwell's and Joan Didion's. :)

We bloggers need a "Why I Blog". C'mon. I would love to read this from you. I would release you from your meme assignment! :)

http://www.idiom.com/~rick/html/why_i_write.htm

http://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/wiw/english/e_wiw

Karen said...

You're hilarious!

Congrats on the 200th post!

Domestically Challenged said...

Happy 200th!!

Oh dear - are we all like this? I fear we are!

TIV: the individual voice said...

This is perfect. So much for trying to be a writer? Found you through bipolarlawyer. Glad I did.

Janet said...

Congrats on your 200th! Course I could barely type that as I was laughing too hard :-)

"Sorry, but I prefer the real deal to the blog." - I've heard that from a friend or two, as well. Pissed me off!

Minnesota Matron said...

Thanks everyone -- and hippyhappyhay, lovely to know! I am armed with evidence here.

Melanie said...

Funny! And congrats on being so prolific, so quickly.

Most of my close friends and family know about my blog, yet most of them don't care. And, though I am baffled because I LOVE devouring the blog of someone I actually know, it's actually better that way. Because I Feel Weird About My Blog.

Mary Alice said...

I have had almost that same conversation with a friend....who said "It feels weird to read about stuff on the blog that I wanted to hear you telling me. I want to have the conversation with you and laugh, not read it and laugh...it doesn't feel real"

Cheri said...

Laughing. So. Hard. I'm. Peeing. My. Pants.

I have friends who don't read mine, and a certain lurker who does and then gossips about what she reads, poor thing with no life of her own.

Funny. Blogs.

Lisa Milton said...

We are a misunderstood bunch, we that blog.

Jenny Dagle said...

I have a friend who reads my blog occasionally, but never ever comments. She is annoyed (jokingly) if she reads something that I never got around to telling her myself.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I have friends and coworkers that read, but they will never comment. They like to give me their comments in person. They just don't get how great it feels when your comment numbers are up.

200! Congrats!

kate5kiwis said...

yeah, cos les bloggeurs really get it, and the others just dont.
*quizzical glance*
but i hate that *stalker* feeling that i get when peeps say, "oh i read/saw that on yer blog" and i start stammering and trying to remember exactly what i've divulged to the world this/last week.
i think i need a shrink.
oh, my blog *is* my shrink X

kalurah said...

HA! I love it!
And congrats to you!!!
Oh, and I am celebrating my year benchmark over at my humble dwelling.
$50 and Amazon are both involved!!
:)

Peggy Sez.. said...

Congrats on the 200th post. My friends don't read me either..I'm cool that way. ;p

Ree said...

I love it. Since no one IRL knows about my blog except Mr. Hot (and he refuses to read it!) I can't have that discussion.

I'm always scared someone would be desperately disappointed if they knew me after reading my blog (where I'm a much funnier, prettier, person!)

Hee

jennifer h said...

I have one friend who doesn't read my blog. It drives me nuts, for all the reasons you said.

Makes me crazy, and though I wish it didn't? It hurts my feelings a little.

So there. *sniff*

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