Thursday, January 17, 2008

Cold Feet?!

Change does not come easily to the Matron.

For example, she once had a cinnamon raisin bagel with crunchy peanut butter for lunch- for five years! Occasionally she was pried from home to a restaurant, where she would order soup or salad (Bold! Two options!).

When she slips into a pair of shoes that are magical--height! arch! sultry edge!--she wears them or their identical counterpart until the soles wear through or heels break off. Then she tries to have them fixed.

She must sleep on the same side of the bed forever.

When the Matron was still in the Wee Lass stage of life, her family included a poodle. The Wee Lass understood she loved poodles. The Matron's main requirement for the recent acquisition of the new dog, Scruffy? Part poodle.

Matron subscribes to The Pioneer Press. This is a bad newspaper. One day it pretended to be a board game on the front page of one of its sections: move your finger here, then here, then trace the bug and you win! Hooray! Headlines tend toward the "Missing Cat Was Cancer Patient's Best Friend" sort. Still, the Matron subscribes to and reads this disaster. Just because she does and must continue to do so or she may disintegrate.

Tomorrow the Matron is getting her hair cut. For the past --hmmmm? --- millennium, John has clipped the pesky ends and that job's done.

But now the Matron's friends are pulling her aside and whispering true-friend things about texture, quality, and ten inch split ends. The Matron finds herself listening to these sweet nothings with a certain degree of acceptance.

She is tired of hair caught in car doors, front doors, purses, earrings, scarves, children, ovens, and necklaces. She is ready for some bounce and fluff--some verve to the stuff. And her hair has been exactly this--long and dead straight--for the past 20 years. Yes, you heard that: decades. Two.

The matron is ready for a change.

Even as she is clinging to walls in terror.

The appointment? Tomorrow, 10 a.m.


Melanie said...

Oh, you're going to love it. You'll have that great post-haircut feeling of constantly wanting to run your fingers through your hair, swish it around, feel it on your shoulders as if for the first time.

Plus, every time you catch a stray glimpse of yourself in a mirror or window, you'll think, "Damn. Who let that stone-cold fox in here?"

Anonymous said...

Vaya con Vidal Sasson, my friend.

Lisa Milton said...

I imagine it will feel great, once you make it through the shock. (It is a big change.)

I know you aren't hip on posting Matron shots, but I'd love to see it.

I'm with Melanie; bring on the cold-stone fox.

Beth said...

Such a monumental step - and you will love the change.
But word to the wise - don't have it cut too short. It's a bitch to grow back.

Mrs. G. said...

You are going to look vibrant and sexy and younger. Trust me.

Minnesota Matron said...

Must a stone-cold fox have breasts larger than acorns? Just checking before I get the self-laudatory vocabulary ready. So there's no doubt: the picture of the Matron and her children posted here and at Derfwad Manor hints at a buxom. Those were full of milk. Yup. That's a pretty big baby (uh toddler) to be nursing but that's another conversation on the couch. Stone-cold fox. I actually had to GOOGLE THAT PHRASE in order to reply. But I will wield it tomorrow at 11:30 am, with gusto.

Tracy said...

It's a big step, I know... but I agree with everyone else... you're going to LOVE it!

Melissa said...

You GO girl! It'll make you happy after a millisecond of sadness.

Angie said...

You are 10 minutes from your appointment! It will look Fabulous! (if not, it's only hair - it will grow back.)

Can't wait to see the pictures.

Melissa said...

Can't wait to see the haircut photo & blog!

You've been tagged. Go to my site to find out the rules.

Kimberly said...

I hope it went well! I think you're going to love it. Change is good. :-)

Minnesota Matron said...

It's done! The Matron invisibility Cloak will be set aside and photos, they shall appear. All that fun later tonight because that's how we old people spend Fridays--puttering.

Thanks everyone! If one single person had said, "Ah, don't! Your hair looks great!!" I would've stopped the presses. But now my hair does look great and I'm happy I did it! Layers, even!

Minnesota Matron said...

Oh, and I AM a stone-cold fox because I think my breasts are growing back! Cut your hair and miracles happen . . . ?