Friday, January 4, 2008

Armpit Mold R Us

Yesterday, I noticed that Stryker was farting as accentuation.

"Yeah, that song was awesome, Mom" Fart.

"I'm tired." Fart.

"Sometimes a man needs a snack, Mom." Fart.

"Hey, that's my chair!" Fart.

When I tucked him in -- and he was all soft and floppy and sweet--I told him that farting was actually a choice one makes with one's body and not an inviolable right. Furthermore, this choice was no longer available to him.

"But I can't help it! I have to fart," he objected.

That's why we have three bathrooms in this house, honey. Go find one. And I also told him that when he was living in a college dorm, he could get as stinky and gross as he wanted--he could fart all day.

"Why, you could even grow armpit mold for that matter," I told him.

That was his takeaway. "Armpit mold. I think I'll like the college life, Mom."

Sure. Good luck on the girlfriend part, honey.

7 comments:

Melissa said...

Boys are a breed apart. Mine belch on command and have armpit farting contests. I don't remember EVER doing these things. Armpit mold...something I've never considered.

kim said...

I love your stories about your kids.... you have no idea how much i appreciate you sharing them :)

Also I wanted to thank you for the comment you left on my site. It really helped me to read that, actually ive re-read it 10 times, it is oddly comforting to me

nice to meet you!

Beth said...

It's surprising how they are able to attract girlfriends despite the farting, etc.
Armpit mold? I've never checked my boys for that. Don't want to.
(Perhaps I'll ask the girlfriends...)

Becky said...

What a hoot!

My 7- and 8.5-year-old boys have discovered the joy of burping contests.

And I have to admit that the other night during a family Scrabble game it was their mother who, left high and dry with really, really bad letters, came up with "farting" for a triple word score. I will never forget the stunned look on my husband's face. Or the look of new appreciation from the boys!

Janet said...

euuuuuuuuuu!!! Funny, tho ;-)

Mrs. G. said...

What a charmer. Like all smart young men, he will curb his farting when the right girl comes along, and then he will marry her and immediately begin farting. The end.

sh8un said...

I tried to entertain (and bond with) my 9-year old daughter by burping different words (ralph is an easy word in case you want to try). She was not amused. I guess girls are a breed apart!