Overheard

I'm in the black hole that masquerades as Scarlett's bedroom, clawing my way through with a plastic garbage bag and vacuum (never look under the bed). Merrick and his friend Lachlan, and Lachlan's three year old sister are playing in Merrick's bedroom, right next door. Merrick and Lachlan have been wearing quite authentic looking police hats for the past three hours; they carry a vast arsenal of weaponry.

Lachlan: "Hey, that's my flashlight - I left it here and now it's broken!"

Merrick: "Stryker broke it. Sorry."

Lachlan: "Let's shoot him."

Merrick (with genuine regret): "We can't. Because he's not home right now."

Lovely. He's a bona fide American, ruled by the clock rather than a moral compass.