Actual Conversation

Merrick: "Is there weally a Santa Claus? A weal twue Santa who brings pwesents?"

Matron: "Santa isn't quite what you think. Don't imagine a big fat guy in a red suit. Santa is different. He's more of a spirit. A collective entity."

Merrick: "What is 'entity'?"

Matron: "Group spirit."

Merrick: "Is that like God?"

Matron: "We're Buddhists. There is no God."

Merrick: "I'm a Chwistian. God lives in my heawt. God died fow my sins."

Matron: "What's a sin?"

Merrick: "What God dies fow."

Matron: "Where did you hear that?

Merrick: "Gwandma. And my fwiends at school."

Matron: "Okay, can we talk about Santa?"

Merrick: "Isn't Santa and God the same thing?"

Matron: "Not really."

Merrick: "But do they wide in the same sleigh on Chwistmas night?"

Matron: "God doesn't ride in a sleigh, if he exists."

Merrick: "Weally? How does God get awound?"

Matron: "Can we go back to Santa?"

Merrick: "Isn't that God?

Matron: "Santa and God aren't the same thing."

Merrick: "Who is bettew? God ow Santa?"

Matron: "They're both amazing but I'd give God the first ticket."

Merrick: "Are God and Santa bwothews? "

Matron: "Look at the time! Bed!"

Merrick: "And God and Santa will be with me."

Matron: "How about the tooth fairy?"

Merrick: "Oh, she's alweady asleep in my bed. She lives wight undew my pillow."