The Matron, who has just a few tiny issues regarding CONTROL, could not help but notice that her husband's foot felt, well, a tad bit heavy on that gas pedal. Indeed, she could not help but notice that the vehicle transporting her very fine self was going well over the speed limit.
Matron: "John! Did you know the speed limit is 30 here! You're going fast and there's a police car up ahead!"
Immediate decrease in speed and increase in anxiety.
John: "Where? Where? I don't see any police car?"
Matron: "Well, there isn't one."
John: "You lied! You just lied to me!"
Matron: "I did not!!"
John: "You lied! You just lied to me!"
Matron: "I did not!!"
John: "You lied!"
Matron: "Actually, no."
John: "Then what do you call what you just did?"
Matron: "I simply added a sentence for dramatic emphasis. That's not lying."
Matron: "Actually, no."
John: "Then what do you call what you just did?"
Matron: "I simply added a sentence for dramatic emphasis. That's not lying."
Scarlett: "I'm soaking this all in, mother."
Pissed off taxi mom going 40 in a 30 MPH zone.
ReplyDeleteCop on road with speed gun.
Cop behind pissed off mom with lights on.
Even MORE pissed off mom with $225 speeding ticket.
Irritated pissed off mom going to court to see if she can get the cost reduced.
Happy mom to be not paying $255.
Unappy mom who pays $100, instead.
Great program that says if I have no 'same or similar' will not be on my driving record so my insurance will not go up: Priceless.
My least favorite seat, also...you must take up knitting. You can't watch the road and dream up catastrophic scenarios if you are busy counting stitches.
ReplyDeleteWhat a week you've had! Little pitchers have big ears in Minnesota too?!
ReplyDeleteOooh, I have to remember that one.
ReplyDeleteTechnically, there ought to be a police car up ahead somewhere. Just a question of how far.
ReplyDeletedramatic emphasis? snicker.
ReplyDelete