Actual Conversation

The Matron and Merrick are at the locally owned, natural foods co-op, as in organic food, hippy-dippy sort of place. This place is populated by all kinds of cool, free-spirited people (and the Matron would like to count herself as one of them). Merrick spies something of interest.

Merrick: "Mom, can we buy some fag newtons?"

Matron: "Pardon?"

Merrick: "In awt class, we learned all about how the old people -- like a million yeaws ago in Gweece --ate the fags. I'd like some."

Matron: "You mean fig newtons. Those are figs."

Merrick: "Yup. Fag newtons. I'm a big fan of fags."

And an older man, listening, leaned into the conversation, held out a dollar, and said: "Me too. Those fag newtons are on me, buddy."

The Matron let him keep the dollar. And smiled for about two hours afterward.