Stage Mother

Guess who sat in a high school auditorium for FIVE HOURS tonight, waiting for the longest callback in the history of theater to end?

Redeeming factors are twofold.

First, she had her laptop and there was wi-fi.

Second, the show is Oliver. Guess who was one of two children narrowed down as Oliver (and asked to stay longer and sing more) -- one boy and one girl -- for that very role.

Keep your fingers crossed! Unfortunately -- or fortunately -- there are substantial conflicts in your favorite thespian's schedule. The family is taking a major summer road trip that will include Wicked on Broadway.

Scarlett would sell her soul for this. She currently inhales Glee as fuel.

Stage Mother actually possessed the Matron tonight because the busy community college teacher Matron has close to 85 papers to grade by Monday. She also likes to do a good job, so there's that whole time thing.

She spent a total of seven hours driving children today. Do other people do this? That's sort of a serious question.

Thank God-Buddha-Oprah-Allah-Universe she can function on adrenaline alone. Who needs sleep?

And so far, Merrick does not have lice. The Matron sent him to school in a plastic hair net. Not really, but there's that whole fantasy life again . . . .